Swine Flu

Swine Flu:  It’s here, It’s queer, It’s my fear.  

Within the past week, the “swine flu” in the United States has swept the nation faster than you can say “kill me now”.    According to CNN, the symptoms of the Swine Flu are as followed:  Pooping, Peeing, Barfing, Yaking, and finally, dying.  

If you have any of these symptoms, stop reading my blog. I don’t want to catch it. 

It started in Mexico (of course), and has now spread all over the United States …including my home state of Tennessee.  Muchos Gracias Mexico. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for illegal immigrants, but por favor, leave your swine at home.  

To prevent Swine flu you can do one of the following :

1. Kill yourself before it kills you

2. Lock yourself in a room and don’t come out till the pendemic is over (I suggest this one, but bring a book). 

3.  If you MUST (and I really emphasize “MUST”) leave the house before there is a cure… NEVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES TALK, HUG, KISS, OR EVEN LOOK AT ANOTHER HUMAN BEING. not even your mother. 

According to Wikipedia “Social distancing is another tactic. It means staying away from other people who might be infected and can include avoiding large gatherings, spreading out a little at work, or perhaps staying home and lying low if an infection is spreading in a community.”  No, it means staying away from everyone.  

The more I think about it, the more I realize the Swine flu is just another slap in the face to those people that eat animals, specifcally pork.   “Can you blame nature if she’s had enough of us?” – Tor Amos. 

In the meantime, I am not talking to anyone and keeping to myself.  Here is a chart to keep yourself in check about the swine flu:




One Response

  1. MS –

    You need to wash your hands. Hand washing is the number one way to prevent the spread of diseases! (so says my physical therapy instructors)

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