Conspiracy: Breast and Testicular Cancer

May 12, 2009 - One Response

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Everyone has it. Aren’t breasts and testicles just tumors hanging off your body?

Parkinsons Disease

May 7, 2009 - 2 Responses

It seems like I am always driving my thoughts around, trying to figure out what disease I could have next. And, it looks like I can park my car at this one :  Parkinsons. 

Some dieseases are just too complicated to write about. So I will just focus on why I think I have it. 

This morning, I was watching “The View” with my mom, and they had special guest Michael J. Fox on.   Mr. Fox did some movies, but to me, he is most  famous for his Parkinsons.  As I was watching him, he couldn’t sit still while he was talking.  It was like the diesase was a puppet master controlling his every move. 

I realized in my own life, that im always bopping around uncontrollably and that I never sit still.  There is only one explanation for this : Parkinsons.  

Salvador Dali, Pope John Paul II, Muhommad Ali, and Barak Obama, Miss Piggy, Dr. Spock, and Matt Sabato all have been linked to Parkinsons Disease. 

There is no treatment.  Lets think positive:  Today is sunny. 

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Fashion Trends Spring/Summer 09

May 5, 2009 - One Response

My inspiration for this spring/summer is 

1.  The Amish.   I think Anne Demeulemeester was inpsired by this too. 

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(anne demeulemeester homme spring/summer 09) 

 

2. Leggings under shorts.  Inspiration: Givenchy

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3.   Tim Burton and the color black.  For a  put together look.  

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4.  Knee Socks/ American School Boy. This guy has horrible legs. You need bones for legs to pull this look off. 

 

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5.   Last but not least, the most essential piece to ANY wardrope :  The classic garbage bag.  Inspiration: Tea Hacic-Vlahovic.

 

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Ralph Lauren Coat

May 4, 2009 - Leave a Response

coat

Ralph Lauren Fall Winter Collection 2009

Ralph Lauren

May 4, 2009 - Leave a Response

The patchwork jacket on the right is mine for this winter in Milan.  I am not ashamed that I love Ralph Lauren collection.  Its so american, so warm, so cozy… really really beautiful. ralph

Conspiracy: Food

May 4, 2009 - One Response

Food. The ultimate conspiracy. What more can I say?  Food kills you – gives you cancer, you can choke on it, death by constipation, clogs your arteries, gives you gas, and more.  Water is the most essential thing for you body… everything else is just materialistic.  

 

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Alopecia

May 3, 2009 - Leave a Response

alopecia

This just in, or should I say : out.  Alopecia. 

One of my biggest fears in life besides natural disaster, alligators, disease, and the Chicago public transportation is going bald. 

I learned about Alopecia the other day while watching True Life.  It is usually genetic, but who knows these days.  

Your body ATTACKS your hair follicles, causing them to fall out all over your body.  This might be good if you have hair on your butt, but besides that, theres no benefit to Alopecia.  

50% of people with Alopecia will grow their hair back within 1 year without treatment . . . But many never grow hair again.  Besides physcially, Alopecia has a huge imact on psychological issues such as insecurity, depression, stress, and social phobia.   God, sounds like most of my friends.

Conspiracy: Glasses

May 1, 2009 - 2 Responses

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I have this theory about glasses and eye “doctors”.  Here is my theory.   Only a select few people actually NEED glasses. 

 

Isn’t it odd that everytime you go to the eye “doctor” that they tell you your eyes are worse and thus you are forced to buy a new pair of designer glasses?  

 

One day, I decided to stop wearing my glasses and my vision has never been better.  This was over 6 years ago — nothing has changed.  

I feel eye “doctors” are all a conspiracy to get your money.  Never trust an eye doctor. Never.

Swine Flu

April 30, 2009 - One Response

Swine Flu:  It’s here, It’s queer, It’s my fear.  

Within the past week, the “swine flu” in the United States has swept the nation faster than you can say “kill me now”.    According to CNN, the symptoms of the Swine Flu are as followed:  Pooping, Peeing, Barfing, Yaking, and finally, dying.  

If you have any of these symptoms, stop reading my blog. I don’t want to catch it. 

It started in Mexico (of course), and has now spread all over the United States …including my home state of Tennessee.  Muchos Gracias Mexico. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for illegal immigrants, but por favor, leave your swine at home.  

To prevent Swine flu you can do one of the following :

1. Kill yourself before it kills you

2. Lock yourself in a room and don’t come out till the pendemic is over (I suggest this one, but bring a book). 

3.  If you MUST (and I really emphasize “MUST”) leave the house before there is a cure… NEVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES TALK, HUG, KISS, OR EVEN LOOK AT ANOTHER HUMAN BEING. not even your mother. 

According to Wikipedia “Social distancing is another tactic. It means staying away from other people who might be infected and can include avoiding large gatherings, spreading out a little at work, or perhaps staying home and lying low if an infection is spreading in a community.”  No, it means staying away from everyone.  

The more I think about it, the more I realize the Swine flu is just another slap in the face to those people that eat animals, specifcally pork.   “Can you blame nature if she’s had enough of us?” – Tor Amos. 

In the meantime, I am not talking to anyone and keeping to myself.  Here is a chart to keep yourself in check about the swine flu:

 

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Conspiracy: Super glue

April 30, 2009 - Leave a Response

superglue

Do you ever think someone is going to come to your room while you’re sleeping and put super glue under your eye lids?  I do.